The Good, The Bad... This Weekend.
As you have probably guessed, this weekend was filled with good and bad. Sigh. I don't really know where to start. At the moment I'm feeling more sad that happy so I guess I will start with the bad. I am feeling sad because almost nobody from back home has written to me and I feel really isolated from you guys even though I try and I try to write and so it seems like you just don't care at all. For you few special people who actually have written me, thank you a lot because it means a lot to me. It's hard, you know, being so far away from everybody. I know you are all busy with your own lives. But I feel sad because I used to be a part of your lives and now you have forgotten about me. Perhaps I'm being overdrammatic, but that is probably because all of the little things which are adding up together, you know?
On Saturday afternoon I broke up with the guy I've been seeing here since the beginning of November. I realized over break that one, I didn't really miss him all that much, and two, that the relationship was really just a distraction from things that are more important in my life right now. I don't feel bad about it. I feel bad that he didn't take it so well. In fact, he was sort of a jerk about it. I told him that I still liked him as a friend, just that I didn't feel that I could have a relationship (with anybody) at this point, but that I would still like to hang out with him and his friends. He didn't understand, or didn't want to understand, what I was explaining. He said that he understood the most important thing, which was that I didn't want him anymore. Then he continued to say that if he told his friends that I broke up with him, instead of the reverse, they wouldn't talk to me and they would probably be assholes too. And he said that he didn't want to be friends with me. Cazzi sua is what I say. (That means, "his loss" except more vulgar than that since "cazzo" means prick) But then I still feel bad because I do enjoy hanging out and talking with him. Not only that, but yesterday was very ironic. Because my wonderful host mom said that her cousin is coming to live in Florence and that she has a couple of rooms to rent. I know that he was looking to move and that he would love to live here in the center of Florence instead of just outside. But the house is really close to where I live, and a part of me is scared to see him and doesn't want him living near to me. So what should I do? Should I tell him about it? If I tell him about it, maybe he will see what Christian love can be like and how it surpasses romantic interest... oh God, what do I do?
Oh dear... I don't have enough time to write about the good that happened this weekend because I have to go to class. Well, just know that good stuff did happen too, and in fact yesterday I did have a very lovely day even though it is absolutely FREEZING here in Florence. Yes, well... I guess I will write more on another day.
Ciao Tutti
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home