oh my GOSH!!! Speaking of my AWESOME God, I just checked grades on axess, and I have a B+ for my cellular and molecular immunology class!!!!! Wow. WOW. WOW!!

This is really really incredible, considering that I was below the mean on the midterm and had done poorly on a few of the problem sets and that the take home final marathon was the hardest test I have ever taken in my entire life. Oh wow. Wooowwww. God is *so* faithful. Thank you soooo much for the moments of inspiration while I was writing up the test.

Okay, sorry, I am calmed down now. It's just that there is nobody here to run to and hug and dance around with.

**dancing**

merry Christmas, one and all

well, it looks like I shall have an opportunity to get on the internet and check email (eep! so many unread messages! so many spams!) and check up on blogs and everything. So yay! Although, not super fun yay cuz I am on a dialup connection. It's like everything is in s-l-o-o-o-w m-o-o-o-t-i-o-n-n-n. Yes. Wow, what to write, where to start? Hm, first things first:

Merry Christmas!

I wish and pray that everybody is having a relaxed and blessed time at home this winter break. Maybe it sounds trite but I truly have been thinking about everybody who is dear to me and *you* are on the list, because you are special.

So what have I been doing? Right now I am in Tucson, Arizona, enjoying the sun (sort of -- it's not at all like freshman year winter break when I came back to Stanford all tanned) and hanging out with my family and the handful of friends I have here. I'm sure most of you know this, but let me remind you all that I did not grow up in Arizona. No no, this little girl grew up in none other than Palo Alto, California, backyard to Stanford. My mom and brother moved to Tucson the day after Thanksgiving freshman year although my father still lives in Redwood City (about 20 minutes from campus). 'Coming home' to Tucson is strange, because it is not my childhood home. I don't even have a bed here, let alone my own room. But my family is here, so maybe it is the closest thing to home that I have. I would consider Stanford my home, except I already feel the wind from the boot ready to kick me out this June (not to mention during winter break! grr). And then what? That is the question of the year. Oh sure, just because we're graduating we have to have a plan for the rest of our lives. Aiya! Just thinking about that makes me want to pace up and down the hallway and wring my hands. Luckily I am also extremely lazy so the handwringing is all mental.

oh dear, I seem to have diverged (surprise surprise) from my description of winter break. where were we...

ah yes, so one of my increasingly favorite things about coming to Arizona is that Lisa and David and Amelia live here. Lisa is a peppy, perky, smiley, bouncy 33 year-old new mom who I met because the day after I got back from Italy in May my mom sent me to Phoenix to see a Michael W. Smith and Third Day concert (woo hoo! but oh was I ever tired!) with Lisa and David and a couple of other people from her church. David is Lisa's husband and Amelia is her 22 month old daughter and she is expecting a new baby July 21st which, I might add, is the longest day of the year, which means Tucson will have the most hours of sunshine that day than any other day of the year, which, since Tucson is a desert and the hottest place I have ever been to in my entire life, means that the day her baby is born will be very bright and very hot. what a way to come into the world! I have already decided that this baby will be filled with sunshine. yay! Anyways, Lisa is such a wonderful friend, and an incredible role model. Their whole family is incredible. The love that they share and the way that they interact and the fact that God is centered in everything that they do. They radiate God's love and I have never ever been so close to a family where God was so present and active and dynamic. Oh, it is so amazing. And such a blessing for me to watch them and learn what God really means by a family.

Family. Isn't that what Christmas is all about? The fact that Jesus was born over 2000 years ago and that I am a part of his family. Goodness, that is something to be grateful for. And I certainly am. My heart wants to fill up and soak in and it is all so wonderful.

Hmn... you know, I think I just came to a realization as I was writing this. Because these past few days I have been busy busy preparing for Christmas and making cookies and apple pie and pumpkin pie (yes, I do realize that I only know how to cook desserts...) and trying to organize my brother to come over Christmas Eve so we could be like a family ... and it just gets hard, you know? My poor sleep-deprived mother gets so easily frustrated, and I am so quick to get frustrated with my brother and my brother is so sensitive and moody sometimes. I went to sleep last night feeling like I really had to work hard to pull us together into this image of a family that I long for, but that I have never known. Wow, it is so easy to fall in that trap. Oh Lord, I am so glad that I am your child. I belong to you and I am a part of your incredible family. Oh my, that is so awesome.

It is times like now that I feel convicted that there is something incredible just around the corner.... I feel like I am being charged up for something big. How am I being charged? Well, number 1) by incredible moments of insight into God's word that I have been enjoying recently, both at church and in my alone reading time, as well as through the power of worship and song as it touches my life; and, 2) through new and old friendships that have added spark and joy, trust and honesty, and beauty to my life. I would love to know just what this Big Thing is, but I do know that God will reveal it to me when it is right.

Back to Winter Break description.... I am right now housesitting at the Thoreson's (Lisa and David) as they are gallavanting in the arctic drifts of Wisconsin. Hm, I don't think you really can gallavant in the arctic, but anyways they are out visiting family. I will be here these next 4 days, so be sure to call me to chat since I am not exactly sure what I will be doing. (well, that is not entirely true because there are always too many things to do... oye...) I will be in Tucson until January 5th when I return to Stanford, only to run off again to Chicago. ((definitely more on this later))

Here in Tucson I am doing what I always do: anything but the work I really *ought* to be doing. Actually, being here is fun because it is my chance to really be domestic. I get to cook for my mom since she is away all day and I am beached in the apartment with only the washes (ie: open desert), Safeway, and the 99cent store as my forms of entertainment. Ooh, and the dentist. Cooking is fun, and I think it will be much more fun to try it out on a husband and family of my own. But there I go again with the family theme. Hm... I think I shall go and pray for a bit. That would be good. Hm.... Awesome God is playing on the radio. My God is an awesome God. Yes.

Sorry about the no blogging bit recently... eep!

Things have been so crazy, what with finals and everything. For these past two weeks we have been playing this fun game called How little sleep can Erin get and not be dead?? So far I'm winning, and it looks like we're on the home stretch because there aren't any more classes. Of course, that is assuming that I am able to be on top of all my stuff and not procrastinate. We are definitely trying *not* to procrastinate. Hm... what am I doing here, then, she wonders...

Actually I'm stalling until my laundry is ready to get out of dryer so it won't get wrinkled and whatnot. It is good to start out this crazy hectic week all clean and organized. It gets you in a more organized state of mind, I think. I think that I will take a nap once I get my laundry, because my body is really starting to register just how tired I am (I think the adrenaline is wearing off...). Plus, as a wise boy once noted, "And then when the time comes to stand on the battlefield of moral decision you are fighting with a stressed-out, sleep-deprived will ... and what kind of weapon is that?" It is definitely true that your old patterns raise their ugly little heads in times of stress. So let's look it in the eye and fight. And let's remember that our salvation is never at stake, no matter how much we slip and fall.

On another note, come one come all to....

Testimony Christmas Show! -- with the Mendicants, too!
9:00pm Manzanita dining hall
wonderful singing and fun skits! free food!

Yes, this will be really fun so you should come! =)

Finally, I need to apologize in advance because I won't be able to blog much over winter break since my mom doesn't have a computer in Arizona. Wow... does that mean I won't be able to check email either for 3 weeks? That could be interesting.