Ravinia

Even the name carries enchantment, doesn't it? I don't know what it means, but the just the sound of the name somehow captures it. Oh please come, everybody! I have lots of praise for the city of Chicago, but it is even more inspired with Ravinia Park (which actually is just outside of Chicago in the town of Highland Park). Ravinia is an expansive outdoor concert venue. It has a pavillion and a lawn and tree-covered walkways. It's dusk and there are blankets and people scattered over the lawn. They have candles and picnics and they're sitting close to each other, sipping wine, or lying down talking softly. The sound of cicadas in the trees resonates with the tuning violins. There's a sort of stillness and expectancy in the air. And when the symphony begins to play I am completely lost in the enchantment. Tchaikowsky.

You know how God gives you just what you need when you need it even when you didn't know you needed it? Oh my goodness... what a night. I was visiting my friend Allison -- an awesome woman from church. She and I are like the same person except she's almost a foot taller than me. It's so funny but we really are similar in the strangest ways! I just feel so full of life when I am around her, and unafraid to be totally who I am. It is so refreshing to have that sort of honest and raw friendship. (My girls, I miss you so much! Maria, I can't wait till you arrive!!) Anyways, I was visiting with Allison and she had been helping out at the church this afternoon with one of the pastors. Well he had these two tickets to the concert this evening that he wasn't going to be able to use, so he just gave them to us! Can you imagine? Tchaikowsky! The Chicago Symphony Orchestra. Did I mention Tchaikowsky? Oh my goodness... I was almost in tears. I really thought I was going to lose it. It was too good to be true. When I was there in the park it's like I was completely taken over by the music. It brought be back to so many memories and to so many places that I hadn't been in so long. I thought of Mr. Pritchett, Mr. Roble, Mr. McWilliams, Mrs. Penvenne, Barbara Bateman... all my old music instructors. I thought of the sensation of playing. I thought about when Mr. Pritchett died. I thought about playing at Stanford and my decision to stop.

You know what I realized? Even though I don't play anymore (save for fiddling around on other people's pianos when I am visiting), music has shaped who I am more profoundly than anything else I have ever done. I mean more than loving all sorts of music, or the constant soundtrack that is playing in my head. Playing music has made me musical, just who I am. Or maybe God made me musical and that's why I played. But everything that is important to me I do musically. The way I dance is by connecting to the music. The way that I write and the way that I speak. The way that I can pick up languages and imitate accents. It's all related, I think.

Oh, Tchaikowsky. The strength of his chords and orchestration. Every song is like the most riveting story unfolding right before you. You are so involved that you get goosebumps. You soar with it and dance with it and it sings to you.

I was enchanted. I didn't even want to breathe if it would disrupt the spell. It's like this big part of me had gone untended for so long that it had dwindled down to some embers. This evening it burst back into life. I realized something else, too, which is how much God was a part of this experience. It's like he was sitting right next to me because I had invited him in. I don't know if I've ever invited Christ in to that part of me before. I mean, music can certainly be spiritual (I'm particularly remembering the last concert of Talisman that I went to at Stanford) but tonight it's like I was just enjoying the music *with* Jesus, sharing with him my delight and my awe and the beauty of it all and he was just there agreeing with me.

Ha-- this is how much I was moved: driving back, there was a spider on the steering wheel. I didn't even flinch but I softly swept him onto the dashboard.

I don't know if anything that I'm saying is even making sense. I just knew that I had to write about it.

www.ravinia.org

"Mawwage"

"Mawwage is whot bwings us togevah today."

Who can tell me where this is from? (You get 10 points if you're the first one!)

My mom always used to crack up whenever I recited this little monologue piece. It was nice to have that fall back comedic relief for whenever it came in handy. I really miss my mom, you know? When I was in Florida I got to see my grandpa (who I hadn't seen for 10 years! oh, he is so cute!!) and my two aunts and uncles and their kids. My two aunts are my mother's sisters. They reminded me so much of her and it stinks that she wasn't there. I really don't know why she wasn't there, either. Initially she didn't want to leave her job that she had just begun. She had been working at Tucson Medical Center for several years but it had gotten to be too much. Too low moral and too hard work. So she moved over to Kindred Hospital. She was really excited about it! Then all of a sudden, come to find out that she had submitted her two weeks notice. She still hasn't told me why. I think she said something along the lines of "suffice it to say there were differences". I don't know... my mom can by so mysterious when she wants to be. So I guess it turned out that she could have gone to Florida anyways. Although I'm sure she would have said that it was too expensive or she hates flying or some other excuse. It would have been nice to have her there, though.

I think that I'm realizing how more and more I'm like my mom. Don't they always tell you that you end up like your mother? It makes me wonder what I have inherited from my mom. Hm, let's see, let's make a list!

List of What I Have Inherited From My Mom

• the propensity to dance at any and all times and places.
  
• my smile
  
• sweet-salty tooth (although I'm more sweet and my mom is more salty)
  
• the desire to sing at all times, despite somewhat of a dearth of ability
  
• the need to have a furry little puppy dog around
  
• love of walking and hiking
  
• my naivite (feigned or not)
  
• my inner reclusive nature

Speaking of dance, (hey, I just got back from dancing!) my last night in Florida I saw the movie, "Shall We Dance" with Richard Gere and Jennifer Lopez. It was a sweet movie. Nothing profound or life changing, but simply sweet. It was the perfect movie for the time. I really enjoyed all the dancing, all the Richard Gere and just watching the interactions of the characters. The only thing that I didn't like about the movie was the dance scene between Richard Gere and JLo. It was unnecessarily provocative with not subtle sexual undertones. Why do that? I thought it was distasteful and took away from the movie. They could have done a dance scene that was just as fun and exciting without the suggestiveness. Anyways, there is a quote in the movie regarding why people get married. Richard Gere's wife says that we need a witness to our lives. I wish I could remember more of her quote. It was fitting.

Eep! Maybe I really am getting old! My friend Emily sent me this little quiz, "Guess how old you act!" and I scored 33 years old. You can take it, too, if you like. Tell me how old you are! (Dad, if you are still reading this, I bet you anything you are younger than I am!) I don't know, am I too old? Joey says that I need to get a boyfriend. "Turn on the vibes" he said. Something about a wink and a smile. I don't know if I'm any good at that anymore! No, I can still do that. It's just effort to really get to know somebody. Oh goodness, I really am sounding like my mom now.

While we're talking about marriage, here's a song that is for sure going to be in my wedding. It is so sweet! Making Memories by Keith Urban.

Okay, bed time now.

Welcome to Miami!

Welcome to the city where the heat is on
All night on the beach till the break of dawn.
Welcome to Miami!
Bienvenidos a Miami!

In just a few hours, I will be on my way to a magnificent vacation on the beaches of Florida! How wonderful!

Oh my goodness, I certainly do have much to update you all on, especially after Missouri. Much hilarity was had by all, I assure you. (Think: Meet the Parents) But more on that later. I still need to pack! Eep!

Missouri!

Hey all!

I am headed to Missouri! When I get back I will have much to update you on, but I am leaving two days after I get back to go down to Florida! It's time for some much needed vacation!

Cartesian Sushi

Wow! I had quality Asian food for the first time since I've been in Chicago! Last night, I went out with the 5th grade teacher from my old school. I drove up to her apartment, which was a bit of a drive, but well worth it. She is at 5200 north and I am at 3900 south-- for those of you who are unfamiliar with Chicago, think of it as a lifesized Cartesian coordinate system. The city streets are a grid going north to south, and west to east. Madison and State streets are the X and Y axes and where they intersect is the (0,0) point. Every block you move in any direction is 100. So one block north would be 100 north, 2 blocks north is 200 north, etc. The fact that Mary Ann and I live at 5200 N and 3900 S means we are 91 blocks apart. That translates into quite a bit of a drive!

However, it was really good to get to see another Chicago neighborhood. It was very very different from the neighborhood that I live in, here in the southside. Very quiet and peaceful. Beautiful houses and manicured lawns, well-kept streets and chic stores and restaurants. Honestly, though... I don't know whether I could live like that. I like my neighborhood (minus the bus barn). It has life and spunk and, ok there is lots of litter on the ground which is rather annoying but it's home. Talk to me in 9 months and we'll see where I've decided to live when I have to get my own apartment.

Anyways, Mary Ann and I went out to this place called Noodle Zone. They had lots of different Asian style foods, but I got two favorites that I hadn't had since I've moved here. That is over a year! I had pho and unagi sushi (my favorite kind of sushi!). Both were really, really good. The sushi was a little expensive (2.50 a piece!) but I just had to have one since it had been so long. Mmm... unagi. The pho was quite excellent. I wish I had the vocabulary of a food critic so I could tantalize you with how tasty it was. But, um, I don't so "really good" is about all you're going to get.

Yay for Asian food! I've been too American living with my housemates. They eat lots of American food. Lots of cheese. I am becoming more used to it, but I don't think I'll ever adjust completely. More greens and rice and less cheese and meat is what I need. I really am Asian, you know. Living with a bunch of New Englanders in a Mexican neighborhood in the Midwest can't take that away.

The City

I love working and living in the city. I really do. My ministry is so clearly here. It's like Frederick Buechner wrote:

the "place God calls you to is where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet."

Working with ICI this summer I am getting a sense of that. ICI is Inner City Impact, not to be confused with Inner-City Teaching Corps, which is the teaching program that I am here for these two years. I just got back from a camping trip to Indiana Dunes with 12 kids from ICI. It was hysterical!

oops-- more on this later. It's time to go to church!

It Starts...

Question:
Why am I awake at 6:15 in the morning?

Answer:
I was woken up by a dream that I had about ... SCHOOL!!!

I've heard about teacher "first day" nightmares but have so far been spared of them. Until now.

In my dream I was driving over to school with Megan and Mia, two ICTC alums who taught at SMA with me last year. We parked by this field where there was a school but then it turned out that we had to walk way across the field to a different school which was the one where we were going to be teaching. As we're walking, we start talking about what classes we're going to be teaching. As in, we are deciding what classes to teach. I call 7th grade, leaving Mia at 8th. But literally, we are deciding this as we walk up to the school! So we go stand by our classrooms. Ah, Megan and I are dressed alike in gray sweatshirts and some grungy looking pants. Very professional, no? As I stand by my classroom I notice that a child is chewing gum so I whirl his chair around and say something rather mean to him (I can't remember quite what). This is all going on while the principal is giving a bit of an introduction to the school year, by the way. Well the child is reluctant to get out of his chair so I start counting rather quickly and then he gets up and spits out his gum. "It's a good thing you did that in time," I remark as he sits back down.

That's pretty much where I woke up. But jeez louise, how mean am I?

Now I actually am going to get ready to go to school. It's not across a field, though. =)

Students in the summer?!

It started out as a beautiful day...

Around 7 this morning it was about 70 degrees out with a light breeze and sunny. What a relief from the 90+ weather with sweltering humidity that we have been having these past couple of weeks! So, I decided that I was going to enjoy the morning with a nice walk in the park. I was on my second lap around when I saw a familiar sillhouette against the morning sun: Gabriel from 7th grade! And his brother, Alfonzo and their mother. They were clustered in front of the building where they have day camps in the summer. As soon as Gabriel saw me, he hid behind his mother. So, I cheerfully reassured him, "It's okay, Gabriel, I can't see you!"

His mom thought that was really funny. We chatted for a few minutes, all the while Gabriel looking thoroughly embarassed yet pleased at the same time. His mother informed me that he is working there as a Jr. Counselor so that I could see him from 8-6 Monday through Friday! I think he was pretty petrified at that possibility. =P He was cute, though, and I smiled all the way back home thinking about my kiddies.

Oh my GOSH. So, as if seeing Gabriel wasn't fun enough, guess what else happened? ...

I was coming back from an unsuccessful trip to my new school (my key didn't work! and there was noone to let me in! grr) and was busy unloading the boxes I had intended to take there. I had just finished getting them all out of the car, when who do I see prancing down the street?

JORGE.

That's right... along with his brother, Alan and Steven Macedo! Jorge recognized my car right away because I heard him say, "That's her car! That's Ms. Cazel's car!" Then all three of them started shouting, Ms. Cazel! Ms. Cazel! Fortunately, I had made it in the house in just the nick of time, so they didn't see me. Not for lack of trying, though! I thought for sure they would see me peeking out of the window, but they didn't! It sure was a close call! I watched as they went half a block down the road and, thinking I was safe, I ran upstairs to get some letters I had to mail and went back down to my car. Well, the boys saw me, shouted Ms. Cazel! again and started running back toward my house. RUNNING!

What possessed them?!?!

They told me all about how they had gone to a Mexican parade today and how they don't really have anything to do over the summer (I offered to give them work, but they declined). They must have stayed and chatted with me for a solid 3-4 minutes! I could not believe it. Oh man... Jorge and Steven both looked like they grew a few inches, and they both had tans. Well, they ran off home and I got in my car, but as I was pulling out Jorge's mom came walking by so we chatted for a few minutes.

Unbelievable. =P