Just One Reason why Eric is so great:


Nabterayl (2:14:15 PM): anyway, I was actually thinking it would be nice to just take a walk
StanfordGirl82 (2:14:35 PM): ooh!
StanfordGirl82 (2:14:37 PM): a tree walk?
Nabterayl (2:14:48 PM): ooh!
Nabterayl (2:14:51 PM): a tree walk!
StanfordGirl82 (2:14:55 PM): a tree walk!
StanfordGirl82 (2:14:56 PM): yay!

Yay botany!

What is going on with me right now? ... I don't know quite how to describe how I'm feeling -- confounded, perplexed, silent, grave, mentally exhausted but unable to sleep, drained, reflective, not ready for the future, but eager to shed the past....
these are all swarming in my head right now and I feel weighted and heavy as if my body and my mind are moving in a strange, viscous atmosphere.

Make it stop. =(

Sometimes I feel like a child and I need to fall asleep in strong arms and know that tomorrow the sun will rise. Too bad God doesn't have arms like that. It's the heat I need. The pressure on my body and breathing that lulls me finally to sleep.

I don't know if I know how to be a child anymore.

What is love?


Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

We know that we live in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.

God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother.

1 John 4:7-21


Amen.

wow... life happens so quickly.

how is that? Eep!

Well, I have an akward period of 20 or so minutes between running around, so I thought I would use it to update everybody on recent stuff in my life. Take, for example, my schedule for the past few days:

Friday, 11/7
2:30ish am: Go to bed after much laughing at delerious roommates who are studying for crazy Chem130 midterm
7:30am: Drive said roommates to midterm
10:00 - 11:00pm: Botany
11:00 - 12:00pm: Immunology (but really am so sleepy that I figure I will benefit more from getting an hour or so of
sleep so go back to room intending to nap until 12:30ish to get up and refreshed before lab)
3:07pm: no! no! why didn't I wake up earlier!! no no no!!! proceed to rush out of the door and bike like mad to lab where I arrive with obvious bed wrinkles on my cheeks
3:12 - 6:21pm: fun fun fun in lab. I got to do all the minipreps and get my plasmid DNA, but didn't have time to run it on a gel...
6:30ish pm: scavange for dinner at eating club
7:15ish pm: go to Safeway then to Los Altos for sewing party/sleepover with the Cardinal Whirlwinds to make our *very pretty* dresses! so much fun! I learned how to surge and there were lots of photos taken of all the pretty dresses in the making, as well as some incriminating photos of me from early early in the morning... I swear, we were just stretching! sheesh!!

Saturday, 11/8
8:30 am: leave to go to Viennese rehearsal
9:00 - 12pm: Viennese opening rehearsal
12:00 - 1:30pm: lunch with Jen, Mai-San and Irvin (who, as I found out, was roommates at Stanford with Mr. Nick, the new science teacher at Gunn HS junior year!! that is sooooo weird!! His roommate was my teacher!! well... not my teacher per se, but he could have been!)
2:00 - 4:00pm: ice cream at Coldstone with Eric and his parents. =)
4:00 - midnight: Jars of Clay and Caedmon's Call concert in Castro Valley!!! So very incredible. More on this later.

Sunday, 11/9
8:00 - 11:00am: Church at The River
11:00 - 1:30pm: Cardinal Whirlwinds rehearsal
1:30 - 2:30pm: lunch scrounging at the eating club... yay for sunday lunch... always cereal and yogurt.
2:30 - 5:30pm: peculiar lapse of memory... what did I do for these hours? I know I was strumming merrily on my guitar for a while, and I took a nap from 4 to 5... but there was certainly something else... hmm...
6:00 - 6:30pm: dinner
6:30 - midnightish: Pirates of the Carribbean at Flicks with Eric, pretty walk around campus on a *beautiful* night, and good talking... more on this later, I am sure...

Monday, 11/10
8:00 - 10:00am: work and random errands
10:00 - 11:00am: Botany
11:00 - 12:00pm: Immunology
12:00 - 1:00pm: lunch
2:00 - 5:30pm: walk around downtown with Lisa Chin -- my bestest friend from kindergarten who was in town for a few days! what a blast from the past... it was so great to hear what she is up to! yay!
6:00 - 7:00pm: dinner
8:00 - 10:00pm: Billy Collins reading... it was *so* hilarious! Everybody needs to look up the poem "The Lanyard"... it is just perfect. His commentary on the poems was just as good too. "The ceramic cups without handles are known in the inner mothers' circle as 'lanyard holders...'" Hehehehehehehee...
10:00 - 11:30ish pm: attempted work on my problem set till I was just so tired I had to go to bed!

Tuesday, 11/11
REMEMBER VETERANS DAY
7:30 - 10:00am: pretty morning. pretty walk around the lake. beautiful day. =)
11:00 - 12:00pm: Billy Collins coloquium. Fun!
12:00 - 1:00pm: hanging out in White Plaza with lots of cool Christians from other fellowships. Definitely cool.
1:00 - 4:30pm: Botany lab
5:00 - 7:00pm: fun with party supplies
8:30 - 11:00pm: OSP orientation #2 for Florence kiddies
11:00 - 2:30am: LAUREN'S BDAY FUN!!

now: sleeeeeep

later: update on lots of things going on in my life!

in the meantime: God is *so* awesome. He is doing such incredible things, moving me in new directions, opening my eyes and opening my heart...

The Story of Purple

Tina: Since when do you have a purple backpack?!
Me: *confused*
Tina: Remember when I told you that purple was your color and you said "noooo!"
Me: Ooohhhh...
Tina: and your mom sent you a purple purse with a purple pen and a purple notebook
Me: I have since embraced my purple identity...
Tina: Ha! I knew it! Hahahahhahahaaa

What happens when you die?

Nick Bott's father died this morning from leukemia. I hate cancer... I just want to punch it in the eye! It's not fair! I know that God is still with us through all of this... but why this sorrow and pain?

I still remember when Mr. Pritchett died. He was my band conductor in high school and died of stomach cancer my sophomore year. I remember that day... arriving late to French class in the morning and missing the principal's announcement. Walking down the hallway to math class and somebody telling me. I was fine ... walking in a haze. Did I make it to my seat before completely losing it? Walking to the band room... was I leaning on somebody's arm the whole way there? Then sobbing and sobbing... I would have crumpled to the floor if I hadn't collapsed in Mr. Roble's arms, and he held me up.

Death is strange.

Some days, you gotta dance!

Yeessss! So I finally went to the Saddlerack! For those of you deprived souls who might not know what this is, I have linked you to their website. It is a fabulous, honkytonk, country western bar! This means that there is an abundance of cowboys, live and kickin' country music, and of course dancing! I borrowed my suitemate's pink cowboy boots, and headed off Saturday evening with a group from the Viennese Ball opening committe. It was so much fun! Although, I have to admit that it didn't measure up to the standard set by my Maverick in Tucson. Ahhh, but what could? *basking in the memory of the good ol' Maverick days* And they played my song!! T-R-O-U-B-L-E by Travis Tritt. (Now now, that song is not *necessarily* talking about me... =P) I was so excited when I heard the familiar opening chords -- it opened the night just right! It really was a wonderful night, dancing and laughing with fabulous people. =)

In fact, this whole weekend (although packed) has been really great! It was just what I needed: having a great time with wonderful friends -- like at Greg's Halloween party where people from Gamma Beta chapter of APhiO were there! I haven't seen them in ages, but of course fun and craziness reigns whenever apo is involved. Greg's party was fabulous! Yummy food and a nice hardwood floor for dancing! Kudos to Greg and his housemates! It was also great getting to know new friends, like at the Jones' BBQ Saturday evening which was soooo yummy. Also getting to shop with Jen! That was so great!! I hope I don't come across as ditzy or superficial, but some times you just need to go shopping! It was *so* satisfying. And even though we weren't able to find white gloves and petticoats for VBall, I found two very pretty dresses! I am so excited! One of them I am intending to wear at Viennese, after I change out of the performance dress. It is such a cute dress! Black strapless, fitted on the top and with about 6 inches of the tutu material on the bottom underlayer to have it poof out at the bottom. There is also a bright pink (!!) ribbon around the middle of the dress, with a big, pretty, pink rose! And the best part, is that the poofy material on the bottom sticks out from under the dress, and it is the same pink! I am getting excited just writing about it! Really, it is a great dress. =D

But this week and weekend (and upcoming week) have been (will be) incredibly busy. I feel like today something that God has been putting on my heart was just that I need to make myself available to my friends, to really be there to support them. I think it is so easy to get caught up in running around everywhere and doing everything that I forget what is really important: these relationships in my life! I guess it hit me today because I haven't really been able to hangout with my roommates in such a long time. We need our girlchat time and I miss them! And then I think about other friends all over campus who I just haven't seen in a long time. It makes me sad. But it is something that I have control over, you know? I definitely could make the effort to keep in touch and go over to other dorms. It is sad that I am so lazy when it comes to this, because I believe that it is very important. If anybody is reading this and you think that it applies to you, I just want to let you know that I really do love you. I think about you and I value your friendship. I know people need to be told "I love you" in person, but I hope that this will be okay until the next time we see each other:

I love you!