long lost leisure

Thank God for Labor Day. No, really. I was just listening to a broadcast on Moody Bible radiostation that discussed work from a Biblical perspective. Seeing how God was the original laborer, instead of viewing work as a necessary evil to save for some idyllic retirement era, work in itself is glorious. No matter what our occupation, when we approach our work as a service to God with our whole heart and spirit, we give glory to God. Thus my justification for entering in my reclusive season.

That's right, for the next 10 months, little else will preoccupy my life than planning, teaching, coffee, more planning, more coffee, eating and more planning. And more coffee. Okay, we might be able to squeeze sleep in there, too. That's right, the school year has begun. Time for Reclusive Erin.

Ha... "time"... what an elusive word. But, it's funny. Do you know what I did this morning? I read. Cover to cover, I read a novel. It was a teenage-aged novel that I picked up as I was waiting for the kitchen floor to dry after mopping it so I could put the furniture back. I didn't realize what had happened until some 2 1/2 hours later when I was turning the last couple of pages. I had originally picked it up, thinking it might do for a lesson in my English class (yes, this year I am teaching English. And math, science, religion, and spelling and vocabulary. No social studies! *Hallelujah!*), but the story drew me in. I feel like I am in high school, spending a lazy Saturday morning lost in a book world on the couch. Okay, in high school I would have woken up at noon, not at 8 to mop the kitchen first, but those are minor details.

Who knew that teaching could afford leisure time to read like this? Oooh, it feels so good to be a second-year teacher! You know what the biggest difference is? Confidence. I am firm and friendly. I am in control without having to explicitely assert my authority. I lay out rules and my personality. I demand a lot and I forgive a lot. I let my students know who I am, and I expect to discover things about them.

My kids make me excited to teach! I am also more self-critical of my teaching, asking myself questions like, "are they really learning what I intend for them to learn?" and "how do I know if they have learned it?" It feels so good to be a second-year teacher!

Earlier I described the minor differences between reading as a high schooler and my reading experience this morning. But actually, maybe those differences are not so minor. It's odd, but I feel like I am half a teenager and half an adult. I am expected to direct and guide students toward success, though often times I feel like I am the one that needs guidance. I just previewed a video called "Sex has a Price Tag" that the pastor at our school wants to use for a chastity program. Let me tell you, I was certainly skeptical of the video, but it was good. It was vivid and stirring and it convicted me deeply. So how am I supposed to communicate God's justice and His grace to a group of adolescents when I feel like I barely have a grasp on that? In short, how can I be the adult role model that these kids need, when I still feel like a kid myself in so many ways?

Interesting times...

(P.S. My first version of this post disappeared when I clicked "publish." Don't you hate when that happens? Grr..)